Have you ever been asked by someone,  “What makes you happy?” or even asked yourself, “What makes me happy?”.

 

What did you say the last time? How would you answer now?

 

Most people answer that question by referring to something that they do not currently have.

 

For example, many people often reply to the question with an answer related to money… “I will be happy when I get a pay rise”, “Winning the lottery will make me happy”.

 

Other people might refer to something about themselves such as … “I will be happy when I lose some weight”, “Losing the dark circles round my eyes would make me happy”.

 

And some folks even refer to other people… “I’d be so happy if she resigned”, “I would be happy with that but only if that idiot wasn’t involved”.

 

As you can see, there are lots of things that make people happy. Great news. Happy days. Or maybe not!

 

The problem with all of the above answers is that the happiness is predicated on something outside of our control (so we can’t do much about it) or some timeframe in the future (so we can’t do much about it now).

 

That doesn’t seem like an ideal situation at all – basing your happiness on external factors. Even the original question is not very conducive to happiness for it pre-supposes that you are unhappy. You are forced into answering that question from a position of less than optimal happiness.

 

Furthermore, most people who answer the question in the manner above are actually assuming they will be happy when the conditions they mention occur. But that’s not always true is it?

 

You know that many people with more money than you are actually miserable and unhappy so why do you think more money will make you happy?

 

Even many lottery winners wish they had never won their huge prize. Their friends are suddenly revealed to be unfriendly, the money brings new problems that never even existed beforehand. Many lottery winners are not at all happy. They wish they had never won the lottery, even though they kept buying tickets with the intention of winning the lottery. Strange isn’t it?

 

You might complain about your body or physical appearance but some of the apparently ‘most beautiful’ people in the world are miserable.

 

So achieving or acquiring things does not seem to guarantee happiness or even to equate to happiness.

 

So, let me propose that “What makes you/me happy?” is a really bad question and should never be asked. Or if you are asked, then don’t answer.

 

For even if you become happy when your condition is satisfied, is that the end?

What happens after that?

 

That’s the problem – asking that question puts happiness as the end state and nothing beyond that is actually considered.

 

How about if happiness came first and everything else follows from that? Wouldn’t that be better?

So what should we do?

 

An alternative…

 

Let’s turn the question around and look at things from a different perspective. Reverse the question word for word. You end up with this…

 

“Happy you makes what?”.

 

Ok, so that is grammatically incorrect but the question is basically asking, “what does a happy version of you make” or “what could a happy version of you create”.

 

That’s a much better question because the happiness is now assumed within the start state and not at the end.

The original question focused upon an external thing being true in order for your state to change to one of happiness.

Our new reversed question now focuses upon happy you to start with and asks what you could create from that happy state.

 

This is just like describing the behaviour of little children and toddlers. They are mostly happy and they are unbelievably creative. They live in a magical state.

Isn’t that more powerful?

 

Next time you are faced with a question or situation that has an externally conditional element before you reach a desirable state, then just turn it around.

 

Those pre-conditions are subconsciously placed in front of you just to slow you down or even to stop you from making progress.

Its often the case that we ourselves sabotage our own progress by placing these conditional questions in front of us.

How many times have you said to yourself that “you’ll do ‘abc’ when ‘xyz’ happen” and ‘xyz’ never happened?

So just bypass these questions and conditions. As Nike says “Just Do It” or as Richard Branson says, “Screw it – let’s do it”.

 

Start Creating…

 

So, just be happy and start creating something wonderful.

Make your action taking as unconditional as possible.

You’ll create more of anything faster if the only thing you have to concern yourself with is taking action. By-pass the false distractions.

 

Want to find out more?

Would you like to join me for a 30 minute “virtual coffee” chat so that we can explore ideas like the above? If so, here is a link to my online calendar where you can pick a suitable date and time for us to meet.