What Does Success Mean To You?

This is a great coaching question. It often comes up during job interviews too.

You will have your own idea on what success means to you – it will be different from mine. We will probably both be right – it’s subjective. 

Before you can truly answer the question, maybe we should spend some time trying to understand what the definition of success is.

There is no single universal answer. Here are 3 definitions of success that I use.

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1. Success based on the Outcome.

This is the most common view of success and basically states that you succeeded or you didn’t. 

It’s a summary and a convenience – if the outcome is met then that equates to success but if the outcome is not met, then that equates to failure (non-success).

This is often the view that outsiders will choose to use. This is often the view that outsiders will choose to remember. This is often the view that you will eventually converge to over time. It is a very binary way of looking at things.

This is the view that you might use if you are considering a fire alarm system or a bank account login system or your morning commuter train…

You’ll only acknowledge that lives and property were saved – or not, that you could login to your bank – or not, that you got into work on time – or not.

So far, so good. All fairly straightforward.

This is also the view that you might use if you are summarising the most recent expedition to Everest or a football cup final or an academic exam. 

You’ll only acknowledge that the intrepid climbers succeeded in scaling Everest – or not. You’ll only acknowledge that the players won the cup – or not. You will only acknowledge that the student passed or not.

You can see how this is a very binary view of success. This binary view seems fine when we are dealing with things like fire alarm systems, logins and trains. They have to work. A fire alarm system that partly worked but which resulted in casualties is totally unacceptable without any doubt. A bank account login which is very user friendly but doesn’t allow you to access your money would be considered to be a failure too. A train that does not manage to get to its destination would be classed as a failure too. 

But this binary view is really unhelpful when applied to humans…

A mountaineering expert who had to turn back 20 metres from the peak of Everest due to running out of oxygen as a result of being stuck behind other brave souls on the slopes can never be called a failure in any real sense of the word. The climber should actually be classified as a success – they managed the risk and saved their life and probably those of their team of guides. Just getting to within touching distance of the peak in the area known as the ‘death zone’ is a spectacular achievement. 

When you look at cases like this, you quickly realise that living a life based on classifying your end results only, can be unhelpful at best and extremely harmful in the extreme. 

If you only ever think about the final result but do not achieve it, then it can destroy your self confidence and set you back massively. It may stop you from attempting anything ambitious in the future. It may even stop you from participating in fairly simple tasks that you normally complete without any major effort. 

Think about what happens to some children and the entrance exams they do before their teens. If the child does not get a high enough mark, then they fail to get into the better schools. That might close off a lot of opportunities which could result in a very different life compared to what might have been had they ‘passed’ the exam. That is a bit of a harsh filter to apply to a child – applying a binary view of success to children is very harmful.

Or think about you and your career – what if you go for a promotion but get rejected? 

That doesn’t mean you are a failure even though you might feel disappointed or even disillusioned. You are successful – you succeeded in getting to the top of your pay grade and being in a position for promotion. 

So if basing success on the outcome alone is unhelpful, then what could be better…

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2. Success based on the Process.

A result or outcome occurs at the end of a process. A desired result or outcome is more likely to occur if the process is followed as specified. If you deviate from a clearly defined process then you should expect a result different than what the process should normally produce.

If you follow a process then you are more likely to succeed. Your chances of success also tend to rise each time you follow the process since you will repeat each step so many times that you will become disproportionately expert in that step. You will also learn about your strengths and weaknesses over time so you’ll get to improve / overcome them at the same time too. 

That now sounds better. I like that – it’s a bit like playing your favourite game for hours and hours. Measuring how closely you follow a process rather than just focusing on the result seems like more fun. You get to enjoy a lot more control. The fun is in the doing rather than that final judgement.

That is why most people love to play sports. You play and follow the rules and follow a process and the more times you do that, then you actually start winning (more).

Failure doesn’t even seem to come into the mix anymore. People who play games never say they failed. They might say something like “Look at me – I finally got to level 7 this time – I’m going for level 8 next time”. That sounds very exciting to me.

So is following a process the secret to success?

Not quite… 

You’ve actually got to follow the right process.

The amount of success you have will depend on how well you define the process and more importantly, why you created the process and identified the outcomes in the first instance.

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3. Success based on the Design.

Those of you familiar with Simon Sinek’s model will begin to recognise that the end result is the ‘What’ and the process is the ‘How’. There is something better than the ‘What’ and the ‘How’.

In his work, Sinek talks about starting with the ‘Why’. So in this case,we can start with the following question: “why do you want that end result which you label as success?” 

When you start with this question, then you really get to understand the importance of the result.

This kind of success is the most likely to occur. This kind of success is the most satisfying and you get to be involved from the initial thought or idea right through to completion. 

This kind of success captures the essence of creation and can even bypass reaction (the opposite of creation). 

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Do this:

I invite you to reconsider your definition of success. 

The process that you follow consumes time – time that you can never get back. So at least enjoy it – you’ll learn something that you can do again and again. The fun is in the doing and taking action. 

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About the author:

Manoj Mistry is a professional coach and mentor. He works with entrepreneurs and also ambitious individuals from the financial services industry. His clients are likely to have already achieved conventional success and they always inspire him.

In return, he draws the best out of his clients and inspires them to achieve success beyond conventional success – exponential success – 10x success – so that they can create an extraordinary impact.

And they will always get there faster and easier than they thought possible. 

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